doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
