Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
