My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
