since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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