I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
