Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Randomize
