The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
