how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Green mimosas i think yes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
