She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
