May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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