She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
