I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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