all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
