the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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