At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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