I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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