How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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