Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dick very happy bro
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
