Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
