i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
