He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Randomize
