Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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