i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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