wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
