where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
