it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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