Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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