When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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