i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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