No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
