It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize