you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
