Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
