great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
