I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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