Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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