if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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