are you still at the devil's house?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
