There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
