I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
