Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
