my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
