Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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