Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
