I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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