Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
