I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
