Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
