And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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