One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
