Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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