I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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