Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
