she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
