Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize