In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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