i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
