Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
