The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
