Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
