Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
