Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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