I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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